Walking down the stairs, the first real sign of life a group of men saw was a lighted sign that read, “This must be the place.” It wasn’t hung there for them specifically, but it certainly was the right message they needed to see as they walked into Serenity Entertainment’s new (soon to be open) location on Cherry Street for the monthly Men’s Mental Health Meet-up.

“It’s gonna be a messed-up week,” one man said in his introduction, saying he had a really long day at work, and the anniversary of his father’s death was coming up soon. “But I’m here. I showed up. I needed this.”

Another man had just heard about the meet-up earlier that day after he had attended a funeral of a friend.

“Men have a problem talking about certain things,” he told the guys of why he had been looking online for groups like this. It was his first time attending, and he didn’t know what to expect. But that day, “my spirit told me to come to it.”

“Coming to these meetings has helped me a lot,” a long-time attendee said. “I have depression and have gone thru periods of therapy and support, but coming to these meetings is like recharging the battery. They help keep me on the right track.”

“Taking time for yourself is not selfish,” one reminded the others before he talked about the stresses of his job and how he works to keep it from impacting his time with family. “Sometimes I sit in the car and listen to the radio, just to decompress for 20 minutes.”

For them, Serenity with these guys was the place to be that night.

Decompressing and setting boundaries was the main topic of the night, but it eventually shifted to family dynamics, both of growing up and how they are now. This quite frequently happens; men who are fathers, husbands, partners, sons…each role adding a level of responsibility to their lives where they feel they can’t fail. Society tells them how to be strong and how they can’t fail…so they’re left to their own to deal with their own upbringing (or lack thereof) and their fear for their own children’s future.

“I never heard ‘I love you’ as a kid, so I make sure I say it to my two kids every day,” one says.

Another talks about how he made a lot of mistakes in his life, but he wants better for his son. “I share more of my mess ups with my son than my come ups because that’s what he needs to see…that those can’t define you.”

“We always got a choice, and a lot of times we know what the right one is. We just have to have the courage to make that choice.”

Though that, sometimes, is the hardest thing to do…making the right choice. “You versus you is the hardest,” one admits.

“I can’t psyche myself out of life,” a younger man says of what happens when he dwells on an issue to long. “You gotta be honest with yourself and sit with yourself in it,” he says of overwhelming feelings.

Throughout it all, Jeremy Grissom – who coordinates the monthly group – peppered the conversation with his own experiences, both good and bad.

“Things are hard, but we can do hard things. We have every tool to do what we need to do,” he told them, reminding them that decisions must be made and there are always going to be consequences. “Whether you face it or not, there’s an outcome to that. Something’s gonna happen; it’s coming.”

But he reminded them they don’t have to do it alone. It’s not just the group sitting in the basement that can help, and he encouraged them to lean on loved ones and each other throughout the month. No matter what they are facing or dealing with, someone had been there before and would help get them through.

“You gotta let someone help you.”

Another lighted sign nearby read, “Bad decisions make better stories.” Another sign not tailored to this group specifically but a reminder that even if they had made decisions, they had stories that could help someone else. Their decisions and stories could, on that night, make this the right place for someone else to be.