If there was one thread that defined this month’s Men’s Mental Health Meet-up hosted by Macon Violence Prevention (MVP) and Macon Mental Health Matters (MMHM), it was that of responsibility. A responsibility to family, to jobs, to the community, and, most importantly, to self. If there was a second thread to it all…it was children. Whether it was their children or the children in the community, they each felt a responsibility to be role models for any child.

“As I say every month, this is a space where we can talk freely about anything you want,” MVP Coordinator Jeremy Grissom reminded them.

As always, the evening opened with two questions to break the ice, and on this mild Tuesday evening Downtown at Churchill’s on Cherry, the conversation never moved past those answers.

“What brings a smile to your face?”

“What do you do for self care?”

When asked what makes them smile, they all said some version of kids, whether their own, their nephews or nieces, or those in the schools. The kids, to the men gathered, were the most important part of their lives, sometimes to the detriment of themselves. Each man’s answer spurred a flurry of conversation about their own kids, their own upbringing, and what they see children facing in the community around them.

“I have a 12-year-old nephew, and he’s the coolest.”

“My son…definitely.”

“When your kids fail…you feel their failure.

“I want to make sure our home is a safe space for my kids.”

“Kids are optimistic, they’re fearless,” Grissom told them about his own kids before another talked to them about his experience as an educator. That even though many kids are fearless, others today carry a lot of trauma with them.  

“So many kids come into school with trauma, and we have to get past that before we can begin to teach,” he told them, with another nodding along.  

“They’re just looking for something to do, but they often can’t because they have to go home and be the adult. They have to get a job and contribute to the household bills,” he said. “That’s not right…they should be allowed to be kids, not forced to be adults.”  

The discussion had moved to the children in the community who didn’t have the same opportunities as others, the ones who had to take care of siblings or get jobs or may not have the best home life. 

“It’s about communication….you’ve got to show them you love them,” one man said after talking about a confrontation with a group of teenagers.  

This all tied in with how it impacted them as individuals. Of course worrying about their own kids and families would take a toll, but the men in the room this night showed a level of caring beyond that. They felt empathy for children they’d never met and for their community as a whole, which led them to talk about how they dealt with their own stress and mental health.  

“For a long time, I didn’t know what happiness was.” 

“One thing I’m happy about is my growth.” 

“Every day I get the opportunity to be a better version of me than the day before” 

“God blessed you to bless other people.” 

“Daily you have the opportunity to choose joy.” 

“It’s about making sure I’m in the right space and around the right people, the people who have goals and doing the right thing.”  

But no matter if it was their kid, the kid down the street, the kid in the classroom, or even their own self-care…it all came with the recognition that each man in the room could rely on the other. That the kids relied on them, and that the community relied on them to lead the kids. So, it was all about responsibility and while that can be heavy, they were each finding their own ways to carry that load and take care of themselves. And they knew it was worth it.  

“Feet hit the floor; let’s go.” 

The Men’s Mental Health Meet-ups take place every fourth Tuesday of the month at Churchill’s on Cherry at 7:00 p.m. To read about the January Meet-up, click here. You can find more information on the MMHM website and by following MMHM on Facebook.